New year, new changes

I’m a very very lucky girl. Starting 2017 off with a man who adores me….eeeeek I’m going to try and explain how that makes me feel.

Firstly I’m a super insecure person, not the crazy insecure where I’m gonna be all up in your shit about everything you’re doing. No, I’m the type of insecure where I can see all my flaws, wish I didn’t have them but can roll with them anyway. And if it’s really bothering me, i’ll say it out loud. For example, NYE day, I was getting ready for a party and noticed how much weight I’d gained, I was talking to a friend about it and basically it bothered me all the way up until we got to the party and started taking shots. After that I couldn’t care any less hahaha…although the next day it bothered me again up until we started eating KFC hehehe.

Now I’ve been crushing on this amazing man for a few months now, and just the other day we made our relationship official. I think after spending months of just knowing how much we both liked each other we decided “fuck it, let’s do this. Just me and you”. Yes it’s super early days, literally been like 2 days hahaha, but let me just be super clucky for a second k? hahaha

Every time I talk to him, whether it be over text, twitter, twitch, skype, facebook whatever!! He never fails to say how gorgeous or beautiful I am to him. I’m used to guys saying the sweetest things so they can get what they want from you, but he says it differently. I can actually see it in his face that he believes I’m beautiful, and I can’t help but blush, smile and try not to burst into happy tears. No matter how many times I laugh at that statement, or tell him to shut up or say that he’s lying or hide my face, he will say it again…and again and again..and slowly, very very slowly, I’m starting to understand what he sees.

I’ve mentioned a few of my insecurities to him before and each time I’m met with “Babe I don’t care about that. I just want to be with you”  Again, my insecurities come up like “Aw yeap dudes just saying shit” but nope, cause we’ll be sitting in skype for hours and all we’re doing is laughing. Just laughing, cracking jokes and making fun of each other. Enjoying each others company. I’m not asked to take my clothes off, the conversation isn’t focussed on sex, I’m not an object, I don’t feel like an object, I don’t feel like he owns me, I feel like a girl and that makes me happy.

On top of that he’s a father an d from what I hear a pretty good one too. Not one that hasn’t made mistakes but one that has learnt from them and would give the world to his girls. I find that a bloody attractive trait. A man who loves to be there for the most important people, who will give them 100% of his attention and time. I couldn’t ask for a better man really.  I could actually go on and on but I’ll stop before you fall in love with him and try steal him from me LOL

Cause you know, I don’t date cause that’s what everyones doing. No I date cause my end goal is to be your wife. I want to grow old with you, grow our families, support you, experience every emotion under the sun with you and everything in between. And to find a man who I can see myself doing all these things with just makes me smile, and I haven’t stopped smiling since I’ve met him. If anything I’ve been smiling even more then I already do 😀

Now can someone give me two slices of bread and some spaghetti for all this cheesiness hahaha xo

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