Now that I’ve had time to get over my “broken heart” I realise that there are more benefits to this then negatives. The main one being focussing on everything and anything to distract myself from thinking about him.
That doesn’t mean that I haven’t spent time grieving and trying to heal myself. But I’ve come to accept that he used me and nothing I do is going to change that. I’m distracting myself from telling myself that I need him, from going crazy and ruining his life cause wow I can definitely do that. I also so many people who wanna kill this guy hahaha
I’ve never wanted to exercise more, eat healthy, go to the gym, read a book, make videos, update my blog, learn a new skill, pray and focus on God. All of these things are positive things and will have a great impact on my life, and I’ve never felt so motivated to do these things ever.
But why now you ask? (or not) Probably cause I want revenge. I wanna make him regret his decision and also cause I wanna be a different person if I ever see him again. I wanna be able to feel comfortable with myself, not that I wasn’t before. I just realised that he made me so happy because he gave me attention I wasn’t getting anywhere else. He’d tell me I was gorgeous, had a beautiful smile but I never thought these things of myself. “How you can you love someone else when you can’t love yourself”?
So here I go, teaching myself to love myself, not just physically but intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Basically fall in love with everything about myself, and if I don’t like it I’ll be the one to change it. If someone else doesn’t like it then they can move on to the next girl.
I feel like I’m rambling…I’ll stop, just know I’ll be blogging more.