Being attracted to yourself

I’ve always thought of myself as someone who loved herself no matter what, but what I’m finding on this weight loss journey is that I’m falling in love with myself in different ways. For example, I like my smile, I wasn’t a big fan of it in my teen years but could see how pretty I looked with a smile. Now I freaking love my smile, I lowkey think I look hot as fuck with a smile on my face. Why do I love it now?  Well to be honest, I’m not so focussed on how chubby my cheeks are, or how round my face is, or that double chin cause it’s slowly disappearing as I lose weight. And so instead of worrying about the things I don’t like I’m starting to see things I do like.

I’m not a twig right now, actually if any of you saw me you’d probably laugh and still think I’m fat, which I am but I’m smaller than what I was.  I can feel the change in my clothes and I can see it on some parts of my body. The parts of myself I’m falling in love with aren’t even the things people usually like about themselves after weight loss.  Besides my smile, I love my legs, my eyebrows, my hair and my thighs.

What do I love about them? I love that they’re all strong features and together create this beautiful me. I can’t move/walk/run without my legs and my thighs, they keep me going and they look bomb af in heels lol . My hair, eyebrows and smile are effortless features and I can appreciate them for what they are. Beautiful.  I have super thick eyebrows but when they’re groomed gurrrl they look bomb ! hahaha

Ok so basically what I’m trying to say is that I love the way I look right now. I feel confident, beautiful and attractive.  It’s a nice feeling to know that I love myself, not just an internal emotional love but a physical one as well.  Not sure if that makes sense but it does to me. Anyways that’s all for today, more updates soon.

x

Overthinking

So I’m not used to being pursued. It’s a lovely and strange feeling. What I’ve realised though is that I’m clingy as all hell.

I know it’s not his fault but when I don’t get the attention I’m asking for then, I sort of just shut down and get sad. I don’t know why though, like if I removed said attention from the equation I’d be fine. IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE ! 

I know everyone has lives and things to do but like OMG ! I can’t focus on anything cause all I’m thinking about is him…he doesn’t even live in the same city as me. Aaaaaah. I’m seriously trying to stay low key cool about this but fuck sakes I seriously cannot lol. Can you imagine how I’d react if I knew multiple guys had an interest in me? Fuck sake.

Honestly how are people able to do this and still seem normal? Cause I’m losing my shit. Like one day I’m gonna fly down and be like “Surprise! Couldn’t be stuffed waiting for you text me so here I am” hahahahaha. Does this make me crazy? I feel crazy? I’m crazy aren’t I? Lol

Ok next question….how do I stop myself from getting super crazy? Lol *sigh*