Don’t talk to him

So Friday night/Saturday morning was a great night out with my work fam.  We had our Midwinter and it was awesome….a lot of alcohol was consumed so of course…words were exchanged.

Now if you’ve been reading my posts for a while you will know that earlier this year I went through heartbreak, after being out of contact for 5-ish months we’re talking again. I am willing to b friends and so is he, he’s apologised and I made sure he knew that I didn’t deserve to be treated like that and that he was going to stay sorry. We’ve also decided to be supportive of each others fitness goals, so far so good but on Friday night I told a good friend of mine that I’m seeing a new guy and that me and the ex are talking again.

He pretty much gave me a growling lol and said I should stop talking to my ex and that got to me. I’m good with being friends and I know that it’s never going passed the point of being friends. How do I know that? Because I’m not going to allow myself to be that hurt ever again. But is it wrong that I want to be friends with him?  I know I can keep my feelings in check, I’ve done it many times before…but after that talk on Friday night, I’ve been wondering.

Two team leaders at work know about what happened, and I’ve told them I’m seeing someone else, told them that it’s ok to talk to him as long as I don’t get back with him. So I am…and I’m not getting back with him don’t worry lol urrrgeh I liked it better when this didn’t matter but should I stop talking to him?

x

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Overthinking

So I’m not used to being pursued. It’s a lovely and strange feeling. What I’ve realised though is that I’m clingy as all hell.

I know it’s not his fault but when I don’t get the attention I’m asking for then, I sort of just shut down and get sad. I don’t know why though, like if I removed said attention from the equation I’d be fine. IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE ! 

I know everyone has lives and things to do but like OMG ! I can’t focus on anything cause all I’m thinking about is him…he doesn’t even live in the same city as me. Aaaaaah. I’m seriously trying to stay low key cool about this but fuck sakes I seriously cannot lol. Can you imagine how I’d react if I knew multiple guys had an interest in me? Fuck sake.

Honestly how are people able to do this and still seem normal? Cause I’m losing my shit. Like one day I’m gonna fly down and be like “Surprise! Couldn’t be stuffed waiting for you text me so here I am” hahahahaha. Does this make me crazy? I feel crazy? I’m crazy aren’t I? Lol

Ok next question….how do I stop myself from getting super crazy? Lol *sigh*